Here is my 5th  New Year’s affirmation.  We are halfway through the list! I’ve been doing these as a reminder to myself to focus on the positives in this new year, so I can better handle the challenges. Here are my personal affirmations for this New Year’s 2018.

• Who I am, right now, is enough.
• I make great choices.
• I have all I need, in abundance.
• I am creative.
• I am loving.
• I am strong.
• I am kind.
• I am grateful for this life I have.
• My heart is open.

Today’s Affirmation.

I am loving. 

This is one of my favorites. When we look at New Year’s resolutions, finding love is probably at the top of someone’s list. Being a loving person though, is a little bit different.

Before I met my now husband Greg, I thought I would never find someone to love and who would love me back. I had been through a marriage … well actually 3; to the same guy! It’s a long story. Basically, I kept trying to fix a relationship that wasn’t good to start with. When I finally gave in and realized that we were just way too different for a marriage to succeed, I saw my part in it as failure.

Now, I just see it as a slow learning curve.  There were things I really needed to understand and become, so I would be better in my next relationship.  We weren’t compatible.  We had different values, different core beliefs that just didn’t mesh.  I did feel love for the man, but it was out of compassion and not a bonding. That was a difference that I couldn’t see at the time. I knew that there were things lacking in the relationship and I wasn’t happy in a way that would allow me to grow.  The most loving thing I did for myself at the time was to finally walk away.

We are still friends, and think kindly toward each other, but that’s it. I didn’t burn the bridge, just took a different path. Being loving, simply means we show feel care and kindness toward something.

When we are actively moving through life with love in our hearts, we show the best parts of ourselves. We are actually more beautiful: our skin glows, our eyes sparkle, our step is lighter. We look healthier and stand taller. We attract people to us.

Being loving also means not only are we caring toward others, but ourselves as well. This just might be the biggest benefit. It’s also the one person most of us tend to neglect.

Of course, caring for others is important and necessary, but actively loving is about balance.  We won’t be in good shape to tend to others, if we haven’t taken the time to care for ourselves, first.  I’m not just talking about eating and getting enough rest. The little things are important.  We need to nurture our soul and spirit; through friends, through music, through nature, and through things that bring us into balance.

In the case of myself and my first husband, I had to stop listening  to what my head was saying  and  start to hear what my heart was telling me. I had to forget what I thought I knew, and look at the symptoms.  I would try to be a better wife, but my heart felt heavier.  I would try to be more caring, but I felt choked and stifled. The more I attempted to bury those feelings, the more, I wanted to break out. I felt so trapped. Finally, I listened to myself. Finally, I realized that I what I felt was important. Finally, I made steps to restore my balance.

If I hadn’t done that, I would never have met Greg. I would be missing out on the best life has to offer me. I wasn’t a finished package. I’m still not.   I don’t think we ever stop growing and learning and changing. But I was in a good spot. I was in a place where was happy, content with who I was, and actively sharing with others. I listened with my heart and not my head.

We are enough, we make great choices, we have abundance in our lives. How can we not love ourselves?  Hopefully, one day, my head will catch up with my heart.